Roses smell like boo-boo

We realized how wrong it was for us to callously state that Whitney Houston should leave Bobby Brown's ass yesterday. We do not know the nature of their relationship and should not make such a statement but (yes, there is a but) lets review the facts that we know about their worldwide romance. We'll start with Whitney cause we like to sing those hits such as Saving All My Love For You, How Will I Know and Where Do Broken Hearts Go when we want to be divas.

Houston, born in East Orange, NJ in 1963, grew up singing gospel with her mama, Cissy Houston, at the New Hope Baptist Junior Choir. It didn't take long for the record execs to start knocking on her door which consequently she became the most sought after singer of all time.

 
Houston Timeline (NOTE: We know that timelines generally consists of dates but we are lazy and we have actual work to do at our "job.")

80s

• Hit after hit. Whitney is queen diva.
  Comment: I'm Your Baby Tonight

90s & Present

• Houston Marries Brown
  Comment: Fans are weirded out by this marriage but whatever. Just keep bringing those hits we say.


• The Bodyguard movie and soundtrack breaks records
  Comment: And I will always love yoooouuuu other wise known as the only song guys will sing and not be embarrassed.


• Bobbi Kristina is born
  Comment: Awwww.


• Whitney Stands by her man amidst rumored spousal and drug abuse.
  Comment: Okay.


• Whitney isn't producing quality music with lyrics like these: See I don't understand / Why you keep peepin' me / When you don't even like me / You're after me and my man / Don't think you're stressing me / 'Cause your lies don't excite me, no no
  
  Comment: Did Bobby write this for you?


• Whitney caught with pot at airport
  Comment: Sooner or later we were going to find out why she stayed so trim


• Whitney stage performance deteriorates as does her body
  Comment: Did you see her at that award show? Bones, all bones!


• Whitney talks to Diane Sawyer regarding rumors of drug use. "Crack is wack" is heard all around the world.
  Comment: Crack is whack! Hahahaha!


• Bobby puts the smackdown on Whitney
  Comment: Again? We ask.


• Singing (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman while driving away with Bobby fresh bruises on her face.
  Comment: We firmly believe that Whitney done loss her senses.

Since we don't care much of him, we'll keep this short. Brown, born in Boston, MA in 1969, was a member of New Edition. That's it for the bio.



Brown Timeline

80s

• New Edition Member
  Comment: We like that song Candy Girl

90s & Present

• Made some records
  Comment: Who decided to call him the King of R&B?


• Brown marries Houston
  Comment: What?!


• Bobbi Kristina is born
  Comment: Awwww


• New Edition Comeback
  Comment: Oooh, Candy Girl II


• New Edition comeback flops
  Comment: Of course


• Charged and detained
  Comment: Damn, we told Whitney he was no good.


• Drunk Driving Violation
  Comment: See!


• Probation violation
  Comment: Ummm...


• Admits to smoking pot because he is Bipolar
  Comment: At this point we don't like Bobby Brown anymore


• Serves jail time
  Comment: ???


• Spousal Abuse
  Comment: Like we didn't see that coming

Maybe we should have been more specific when we said hits regarding their marriage. Anyway, our point in all this is that Whitney Houston should have hooked up with Ralph Tresvant. Less hits but sanity still intact.

Here's to the good times:


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